Tuesday, October 28, 2008

This Blog Has Just Been Updated.

Pheww! I can’t believe I’m actually putting up a post, the past week has been more than hectic thanks to my job, from meeting up deadlines, to recycling English to Koreans, to hopping from one team to another making sure all projects are on the go the list is endless I tell you, what’s even worse is the fact that all our clients have taken it upon themselves to get their projects done at the same time, and at the rate we are going we have to say no to a couple of projects no matter how much they are willing to pay, I can’t really blame our clients considering the fact that their strategic decisions for next year’s operations depend on the report we give them. I love my job no doubt, but this rush has got to slow down.

Enough office talk, I’m looking forward to Christmas, Gee…. its 2months away and I just can’t help it, my instincts tell me it’s going to be a really happy one (I have to create my 2008 Christmas playlist, and I’m digging for the really old Christmas carols with the deep baritone voices) Silly as this sounds, I know what I’m doing to my hair for the holidays, LOL! Ehn! I’ll be live out of a vogue magazine. I intend to rest, bond with family & friends, and be happy. Need I say I am also excited that this town will be empty and it’ll take me 10 flipping minutes to get from my house to VI. That alone is a good enough for me.

Off to do my blog rounds, for now I’m allowed to pretend I’ve got nothing to do.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


Thank you, Thank you, you're far too kind, I never felt so much love all at once before - I'm blushing, I love blogsville, you guys really rock!.........Three days and mood swing is over- Sweet Twix thanks for counting. (Ps: Sad but true Tic Tacs actually look like cockroach eggs ewww!)
I noticed during my blog rounds nearly every one had some dark cloud over them including me, it's the middle of October people, the year is almost over forever- yep! It will never be 2008 again again, scary huh.
We might not have done all we expected for ourselves this year, but at least we are not where we used to be, or who we used to be. Putting aside our issues, I think it is time for us to put up one happy post for the year to celebrate ourselves, the things we have overcome and any achievement or achievements we bagged this year.
And people we don't have to wait for December because we make our own rules here.
So I expect enough Oooooh's & Aaaah's, Awww's and Wow's from your happy post (and mine :-))....................Adios Amigos! and have a lovely weekend.

I slept off while writing this post, and when I woke up to put it up I noticed my Childhood best friend had added the story below, Imagine waking up and your post is a paragraph longer........

While a man was polishing his new car, his 4 yr old son picked up stone & scratched lines on the side of the car.In anger, the man took the child's hand & hit it many times, not realizing he was using a wrench. At the hospital, the child lost all his fingers due to multiple Fractures. When the child saw his father.....with painful eyes he asked 'Dad when will my fingers grow back?' The man was so hurt and speechless, he went back to his car and kicked it a lot of times. Devastated by his own actions...... sitting in front of that car he looked at the scratches, The child had written 'LOVE YOU DAD'. The next day that man committed suicide. . .Anger and Love have no limits, Choose the latter to have a good life

Monday, October 13, 2008

Mood Swing.....

This is definitely not me PMSing, I am just not in the mood, I dont feel like smiling at anybody neither do I feel like saying hi or hello, and I definitely don't feel like working either (Thank God today's workload is minimal) Nobody said or did anything to upset me, even if they did I wouldn't be feeling this low, what's even weird is that I dont want to be showered with love right about now. I just want to stop time, take in very deep breaths, exhale, unpause and continue with life.
Can't wait for this mood swing to blow over..........I need my happy place.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008


So I didn't have enough time to rest despite our 3days + weekend holiday, and I still haven't gotten round to resting properly, hence my body fighting me seriously. In my tired state my mind had time to travel into my past, It's amazing the kind of things we go through in life, In fact in most cases if we were told you would go through such things, you would scream and say "me, never! " but unfortunately these things actually do happen.

As I was sleeping, yet conscious of my environment, I heard a friend tell my childhood best friend why she had to leave her long term boyfriend- apparently, she had suffered a series of violent episodes and never told anyone. My best friend was shocked because they were really good friends in school and she knew the boy in question, in fact she had been telling her she made a mistake by leaving her long term love. My best mate goes on to say that it could never happen to her, stating all the things she would do if at all it dared happened. I smiled (in my sleep) then I woke up and said you can never know until you find yourself in that situation- freaking both of them out, as they thought i was dead to the world in my sleep.
My best mate turns to me and says, don't tell me it happen to you too? I smiled and I said yes (referring to my ex of over a yr), Now, everybody who knows me, calls me the boss lady, I don't take rubbish, my aura is very commanding and authoritative- so of course her jaw dropped, and she just kept staring at me, trying to analyze how such nonsense happened to me and I'd stay.

It happened first in 2nd year university, on Vals day the 2nd yr into the relationship, at home (we had fought the day before, so I drove home and left him in school) I had been loading the washing machine, as I turned around I saw him, before i could utter a word a nice hot slap landed on my face, I screamed! I was dazed no pun intended, I had never been slapped in my life, my parents aren't the type that punish with beatings, so i was confused, knowing he had a nasty temper, I started thinking about saving my life, as per we were in the kitchen, knives and all, luckily my younger and only sister was home with me she ran into the kitchen and became a human shield @ 5 '11 she did a pretty good job, I ran into the room, and more slaps followed, then my sister managed to find her way in between us, he did a hit and he missed me, but my sister was the unfortunate recipient, she landed on the bed and knocked out immediately.
I ran outside the house unto the road, unfortunately it was a weekday and nobody was really around (we live without parents- my folks are white like that), and the next thing he breaks down, starts crying then starts begging me- and I'm thinking you must be out of your freaking mind!
What had i done to deserve this? i followed a male friend (that had the hots for me, and he knew) to take me to get something to eat, and he saw us driving away together.

My ex is one of his kind, he was/still is obsessed with me, but he calls it love, I say whatever, if it was possible for me not to walk on the floor, I'll probably wouldn't, he more than cared for me and he showed this in the calls, words, spoilings, in fact I was so spoilt I got anything and everything I wanted and needed from him, he did things most older guys (back then) weren't doing for their girls, so i didn't understand why he did what he did. It took a lot of begging, promising and bribing, I carried my two stupid left legs back, moving on 2yrs later in the heat of an argument he slaps me, and I slapped him right back!........My exit strategy came into play.

I analyze alot, I knew from the 1st time it happened, it was bound to happen again, but because my naive lost in loveself believed in giving people a 2nd chance i decided to stay. To say i was hurt would be putting it mildly, I may forgive but never forget- I can't help it, I know it's not suppose to be that way.
In total we spent 6 and a half years together, ups and downs, and to top it off he was such a man whore! So i woke up one morning and walked- just like that, and it was at a point when everything in the relationship was at its best, Nobody ever believed it would happen, they all thought we would end up married. we had more than enough breakups to make up, it took me 3yrs to put my get away plan into action, Deep down I knew I couldn't live with him for the rest of my life, even though it came with all the finer things in life, my happiness had to come 1st. I couldn't ever imagine being in his arms night after night after all the hurt and pain, I hated what he did to me, I Hated sex, I hated guys, I hated love, I never wanted to get married, I could shoot cupid if i ever set my eyes on him, I could shoot any guy offering to be different (because they are all the same, if they are not violent, then they are man whores, or both!)
I think it wouldn't have been this bad if he hadn't shown so much love, attention, and affection, I could never reconcile the two human beings. I was scarred for life by him. They say No scar can ever be completely removed, they leave a mark as a reminder, I can say for a fact that it's been lasered (if there's any such word) :-)

I moved on and of course all the things I hated then I love now :-). Right now we don't speak,which is for the best, I wish him the best, and hope he learns to appreciate life and all that it has to offer, and for anybody out there who thinks it's a first and last time incident, chances are you are wrong, and you know it deep down, so walk away while you can, before it's too late.......