Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Until Death Do Us Part.....

To those who are married, .. Not married .. and soon to be married.

I hope you will be touched by this story.

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce..

I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Dew.

I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces.
The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release.
The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.
In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.
This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning.. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife's divorce conditions.. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time.. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger.

I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad.

On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs.

Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead.. Do you have a fever? She said.
I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce.

My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.

So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy.

Do have a real happy marriage! If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage.

Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.


Dee! said...

So very touching! It actually brought tears to my eyes!
Intimacy and communication are some vital elements every marriage should have.

Lara said...

This is so sad and very touching, tears in my eyes. The woman shold never have given up.

Gee said...

oh my!
this is sooo sad--like really--i cant even begin to imagine the pain of the marriage to these people, nd death had to add to it--

Harry-Rami Itie said...

this is so sad...

Tatababe said...

Very touching....thanks for sharing

CaramelD said...

I want to cry! said...

i've read dis story b4. one of those forwarded msgs one gets. but still, i decided to keep reading. until i got to the d man found his wife dead & my eyes popped! i've never read dis version b4. kai. so sad.

(no mind dat post u saw on my fmr blog. someone seemed to have hatched into my email & has been sending dat stupid scam email to pple on my contact list)


**hey, am back online & kicking butts @

Shona Vixen said...

hadn't read this version where the wife sad!

Fabulo-la said...

*gasp* oh my god! Why did u make me cry???

Jaycee said...

This is so beautiful...I was smiling at the end. :)

"I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart."

mizchif said...

oh! Lovely story.
Once he mentioned her weight loss i just knew she was terminal tho, so the end wasn't a surprise for me.
Sometimes all it takes it that extra effort and the most basic things.

Hear. hear.

Elastic said...

Doing things together, does brings a sense of intimacy one never saw before. God help all the married and yet to be married people.

doug said...

Read this before. I think someone sent it to me or something. Lovely story. Like they say, love is a verb. :)

doug said...

@CaramelD: Mscheeeew!

Funms-the rebirth said...

awww she sad
You are right, the little things should not be taken for granted....

Nice Anon said...

A different version of this. When the time comes make we al put in all the work to make it last. Amen!

~Sirius~ said...

Thanks for all the comments!
it was hard not to share this story.

What happened in the different version!!!

bob-ij said...

I'm tearing up right now! I went from being irritate, to upset, to understanding then to sad! I wish he had realised sooner..and she had waited a bit longer. This is such a beautiful story.... I hope the man doesn't blame himself forever because I'm pretty sure this will inspire many to renew the spark in their lives!

Nice Sirius!


2cute4u said...

This was such a great piece!
The effort, strain, pain and then the futility.
I've learnt..
I'd be back.

BSNC said...

Wow i loved this post. Little details we take advantage of truly matters. wow thanks for sharing.

Adejoh Momoh said...

Wow.... Love the way your writing provokes emotion: Was sad at the beginning, happy in the middle and towards the end, was teribly sad at the end. An accomplishment...

9ja's OT said...

wow, deep stuff, i had to hold myself from crying. nice post.