......Uhmm, don't have a title.....

Lately I realized that I spend most of my time reading blogs, or peeking at what’s new on FB instead of getting work done,  and I’m seriously working on it, the cool thing though is I actually get my work done by close of work :-), So yesterday I vowed I would concentrate 70% on my job (It’s an A by the way),  and I was doing good until my girl from across the Atlantic sent me an email, accusing me of holding back juicy gist about a common acquaintance on my side of the Atlantic. (gist flies I tell you). Lost by her accusation, I replied asking what I’d missed out on about this acquaintance(let’s call her Cuddles),  I also wondered what could be so hot about Cuddles that I hadn’t heard about, getting back to work, the bombshell comes in and that’s how my concentration dropped to 30% for the next couple of hours.

She had just heard that Cuddles, who had been dating a very good friend of ours was almost, if not married and heavy with twins!!!, only about six months after she lost interest in our dear friend..(yep she was in between guys). I instantly became cold, and whilst trying to digest what I had just read another email comes in ……..(It gets worse!!!!) Cuddles’ baby daddy apparently had been engaged, and his fiancée was in the States planning their wedding!! and the whole time Cuddles had no idea. I froze.

Immediately my heart went out to the once happy bride- to- be, I tried visualizing him breaking the news to her, and what her reaction would have been.  Where does she begin? After getting that far, I know it’s better off for her to have a broken engagement than a broken marriage, but the pain she would have to go through, cancelling the wedding, meeting someone new and starting all over again, even I would opt for singlehood until death do me part.

In life change is the only constant thing, for me, I evaluate the worst that could happen in every situation and hope for the best.  What freaked me out the most was that it could happen to anybody, me, you or someone you know.

On the other hand I did a good deed today, I put a smile on a (colleague’s + his girlfriend) face = priceless (4 me). It was her birthday, and he decided it was time he became a man, so I hooked him up with a divine engagement ring at short notice, as his plan “A” messed up.  He had her birthday parcel delivered to her office with the ring in the cake, and she loved it!!!~ I can be a creative romantic, which means I’d need more than that to wow me, so my man had better have more than that up his sleeves, but hey, if it worked for her then that’s all that matters……It’s a loooooooong weekend, and I’m gonna make the most of it, you should too.

Can you Handle It?

There is nothing to fear except the persistent refusal to find out the truth, the persistent refusal to analyze the causes of happenings.

Nothing is easier than self-deceit. For what each man wishes, that he also believes to be true.

In searching for the truth be ready for the unexpected......

The meaning of the word truth extends from Honesty, Good Faith, and Sincerity in agreement with a Fact or Reality in particular. In life things happen and we yearn for the truth, we want to know what, how, when, why, but the fact of the matter is, are we really prepared to handle the truth? Your instincts tell you, you can feel it in your guts, your worst fear lurks around like a shadow in the dark, you want to know now more than anything else ~ and then you’re hit with the truth.

You go cold all over, your instincts where right, your guts never lied to you before, not even this time, you try to keep your cool, and then you start disbelieving, you’re confused, angry, sad, relieved all at the same time, no matter how many scenarios you have planned out, you are never really prepared enough for the truth, you can’t handle it, but you rather have it than a lie.

What do you do? Do you resort to ~what you do not know won’t kill you~ I say no matter how bad the truth is face it, it will always set you free.

You know deep down you are not truly loved, or you don’t deserve to be treated the way you are being treated, or things are not working out like they should be, face the truth, dust yourself and walk on, get over it, things happen for a reason, take life’s lesson and continue the journey.

Sometimes we are so scared to admit the truth to ourselves that we live in falsehood, denial and fairytale land, we are so scared about what will happen if we face the truth, and I ask, how can you be scared about what you do not know?  Knowing the truth is the most powerful thing that can ever happen to you. Use it………

The pure and simple truth is rarely pure and never simple  -Oscar Wilde

He Said, She Said.........

Floating around cyber space, i stumbled unto this very interesting argument: WHY MEN LEAVE 

HE SAID....

1. Nagging - This is an honest reason. Ladies, some of you don't realize it but you may nag your partner to death. There is only so much he can take. You may have to ask him to do things more than once but he will eventually get to it. If he doesn't wind up doing it after the third or fourth request, take a moment to find out why before you go into a fit. Did he just get off work? Did he just get home from somewhere? Did he just finish something that may require him to relax for a few minutes? If none of these apply, then he may be just plain lazy and you should be questioning whether you really want him back.

SHE SAID....

Maybe we nag because when we say it gently, it never sticks. That’s one trait that’s common with most women, and everybody knows most ladies nag just to get the much needed attention from their spouses. Men can be overbearing but you don’t see us whining about it the way you guys whine about nagging. That’s because we are used to it and we’ve come to accept it as part of you; so when you do it, we don’t take it personal. Why can’t you guys just do same?

HE SAID....

2. Sex - If it's unsatisfying or you are denying him to the point where he questions whether he is living in a monastery or at home, chances are this is a BIG reason. Is he being unreasonable or are you?

SHE SAID....

Just because you are in the mood doesn’t mean I have to open my legs and its certainly not my fault I can’t do those things you do with your whores.

HE SAID...

3. Love - This is one of the more painful reasons. He may have fallen out of love or may have fallen in love with someone else.

SHE SAID....

Hmn!! Maybe you should have given me a warning that your love had an ‘expiry date’ (I love this response!)

HE SAID...

4. Attraction/Physical Appearance - Some of the reasons I came across were that men just weren't physically attracted to their partners anymore. This was usually coupled with falling out of love or at least it may be what triggered it. Remember ladies, this doesn't mean that you are not attractive. Men have different tastes, enjoy different things, have different pleasures, etc, all women are beautiful.

SHE SAID....

That’s a very selfish reason to leave somebody. Physical attraction?? You were okay with my looks before you came into my life. Infact you ‘begged’ me and told me I was exactly what you were looking for. How did that change all of a sudden???

HE SAID....

5. Excitement - You may not be interested in the same activities as him. He may be an extremist and want to go sky diving or scuba diving with sharks and you may just want to sit at home with a glass of wine and a movie.

SHE SAID.....

So you leave an intelligent, loving, decent, hardworking, beatiful and dutiful woman because she wont go skiing with you ?  :-(  Thats like the dumbest reason so far, not to mention selfish.

HE SAID.....

6. Cheating - There are a number of reasons why men cheat. This could be a whole separate topic in itself but for purposes of this article I will limit it to the most common reason which is physical attraction. When a relationship becomes stagnant and/or there is little to no physical attraction or excitement in the relationship, temptation grows stronger. Particularly in work places where most adultery occurs.

SHE SAID.......

Thats not true, men cheat because they are irresponsible. The want to eat variety of dishes. Its gets boring when you serve them eba every night. They'll love to mix the diet with Beans and rice once in a while. Of course, they will eat the Eba alone for some time without complaining - untill they get tired of it.

HE SAID....

7. Self Esteem - Some men feel emasculated or belittled by their partners to the point where they leave. Some may feel that they are not worthy of the relationship. This is one of those reasons that may require some professional help.

SHE SAID....

Thats why you should go for your 'level' in the first place. Its not my fault that I earn more than you do and I have an IQ 20% more than yours. C'mon give a sister a break, go sort your personality problems and quit the guilt trip.

HE SAID....

8. Kids/marriage - Some men may not want to get married or have kids. Some may want one without the other. Whatever their needs or wants, pushing them into one or both may lead them to walk away from the relationship. Anyhow, if the man you're with doesn't want the same things you want, you should be asking yourself why you are with him in the first place. Ladies, there are plenty of men out there that are looking to get married so don't stress yourself over him. Beside, if this was a serious relationship you should have known in the beginning as to whether or not he was interested in marriage/kids.

SHE SAID.......

I perfectly understand that, I just wish you told me on our from the begining.

HE SAID....

9. Commitment - Some men just can't stay committed. For whatever the reason they need to be with different women. Again, this is one of those reasons that can be better explained by a relationship counselor.

SHE SAID.......

Oh you mean some men just don't grow up?? Yea, I know that, it just sucks. Selfish, selfish, selfish!!!!

You did well poster, but I don't lose sleep over why men cheat. Very lousy of you to come up with these excuses when we all know that people _{not men alone} cheat because they are  irresposible, selfish, self absorbed, childish and wicked.

I think she did a good job with her replies, I may not agree with everything said here, but some major points were scored by both parties.........

Hey, It’s OK

…..to change outfits seven times…..and then go back to the 1st one.

…to take everything off before stepping on the scales – underwear, jewellery, even your hair band.

…..if lettuce turns liquid in your fridge long before it has the chance to become salad, after all your intentions were good.

…to always order the second-cheapest wine on the list.

…to forward his first email to your friends for peer review.

…to give up on fork and knife and use your hands.

….to think that the solution for dying batteries is pressing harder on the remote.

…..if you don’t belong to an online “community”. You’ve got plenty of real ones, thanks.

….if you do not own expensive shoes, a car or a man.

…..if you’re not quite sure where to look when he gets out of bed naked.

…to think that playing hard to get is ridiculous and dishonest, but you do it anyway.

…..to ask for what you’re owed: an apology, money, a massage.

….to tell him the lingerie he bought for you is too big when it’s really too ugly.

….to complain about how many weddings to have to go to, but get seriously offended if not invited for one.

….not to delete your ex from your mobile. You know, at least for now.

….if every now and then you feel like giving your sister a good punch.

….if the only place you have ever had sex is in the bedroom.

…….if you’re still not sure what your favourite colour is.

…if you do not feel bad for celebs who split up. It’s not as if you know them!

…..if you have to fake it for the millionth time, after all they never know the difference…..:-)

To Want or Not To Want.....

So i stumbled onto this on geishasong (Please permit me~ Nice blog by the way)

Reading this sent chills running down my spin, as per My goodness! these words were taken right out of my mouth. I guess i'm not the only one in whatever phase i'm in......

I want to know that we can argue and i can scream at you without you walking out on me forever. 

I want to know that we can talk and you wont look down on me cuz you're older. 

I want to know that you'll try to work things out even when you're angry. 

I want to know what makes you switch moods in a second - I want to know how to make you switch back to your smile. 

I want to be able to talk to you when you've blocked everybody else out. 

I want to know that you'll stay with me when i'm rude, 

when you're hurt, 

through it all. 

I want to know, to understand you. 

I don't know any of that, yet you think we can make a future work? 

I don't want to wake up in the middle of the night wondering what i'v done wrong. 

I don't want to pick my words with you, trying not to tick you off. 

I don't want to live uncertain for the rest of my life. 

What do you WANT or NEED....

So the aim of my spot is to share with all of cyberspace the interesting things i come across as well as what's on my mind, the things I love and love to hate, but definitely more of the things that i think might make someone take the next right step :-)

So here it goes..........my 1st official post.

In most cases, especially in relationships, you will only get 80% of what you NEED
and you will hardly get the other 20% that you WANT in your relationship.
There is always another person (guy or girl) that you will meet and that will offer you the other 20% which is lacking in your relationship that you WANT
And believe me, 20% looks really good when you are not getting it at all in your current relationship.
But the problem is that you will always be tempted to leave that good 80% that you know you have,
thinking that you will get something better with the other 20% that you WANT
But as reality has proven, in most cases, you will always end up with having the 20% that you WANT
and loosing the 80% that you really NEED and that you already had.

Be careful in deciding between what you WANT and NEED in your life.

Nice To Meet You Too....

Hello Blogger,

 I hope i can keep up with this..........It'll be nice sharing with everyone out here in cyberspace.